Building Intimacy and enjoying ‘safe sex’ through connection

Rogowska Step by Step Guide to Building Sexual Chemistry in a safe and romantic way

Sex Therapy being one of my interests as part of my Psychology Research, I am happy to share my knowledge and expertise on this sensitive topic.

The Topic of Sex is always an intriguing and ‘sensitive’ subject, but we need to understand it more. It is a natural human behaviour, we all ‘need’ it and it is part of who we are. In this article we are going to suggest ways to enjoy sex through building connection and in a healthy, satisfying and safe way, so you can create a rich and rewarding sex life.

Building Connection and Intimacy

Sex is an important part of our lives and to enjoy a good healthy intimate relationship, healthy sexual connection is a key element of a romantic relationship. Good healthy sexual relationships need to be built through three key elements:

  1. Trust
  2. Understanding
  3. Communication


A healthy ‘intimate relationship’ is built around ‘trust’, trusting that your partner will provide you with the love and support you need, trusting that your loved one will be faithful to you and having trust that your love will keep their promises. In a way, sex, like shaking hands, giving hugs or kissing is a deeper form of human beings connecting with one another. This why sexual intimacy is often very intense, after we have had sex with a person, the connection between us and that person becomes much deeper compared to the relationship we have with a person who we have not had sex with. So in an intimate relationship, we need ‘trust’ to that person, because we are sharing not only our hearts, but our most private parts to that other person.


In a healthy sexual relationship, we are going to be talking about a typical heterosexual relationship between ‘men and women’, it is very important to understand one another. Sexual chemistry between men are women are quite different, men are aroused primarily due to physical aspects of the opposite sex, whereas women are more aroused by how a men makes them feel, so intelligent partners understand this phenomenon and these men and women will often have better sex and satisfy each other more as they know what each other want. A man who understands woman or his lady, will ask what she wants and take time to get to know his woman and communicate what he wants. She will appreciate his understanding and being knowledgeable on male and female chemistry, she will understand his physical needs by dressing up to please him. Because a man who understands woman will take time to make her safe, comfortable and attend to her needs, she will appreciate his ‘understanding’ and feel relaxed to have a good time. This is an example of a healthy sexual relationship. On the other hand, if the man rushes into the physical aspect of sex, without understanding how sexual chemistry works, will offend or scare the woman off, leaving her wanting to run away! Gentleman do not do this, men are the more aggressive species and women the passive, so seek time to understand sexual chemistry, so you and your lady can both enjoy a deep satisfying intimacy. Understanding each other and attending to each other’s needs is a key element to a successful ‘Intimate’ relationship and through understanding two people can really have a good time and also building their connections even further.


Understanding and attending to each others needs comes from ‘effective communication’. The success of a relationship between two friends, partners or husband and wives are based on good honest and genuine communication. Especially when you are at the early stages of building chemistry, moving from friendship into a sexual relationship, when you are seeking to understanding each other’s bodies, chemistry and what turns each other on, it is important to communicate. Ask each other questions on what turns you on, what does not, where you would like to be touched etc. It is not taboo to have sex, we all do it, it is like eating, sleeping as long as you do not go around telling everyone about it or posting your videos on Youtube it is fine! Human beings need intimacy and we need to learn how to do it the proper way, not like how television and media tries to tell us! It is not some kind of sacred act, that only superstars can have or it is not something to be so afraid of, it is ‘natural’ and everybody needs it, so we want you to get rid of that perception that sex is something ‘taboo’ or some kind of ‘mystery’ that only feel enjoy. We all can enjoy sex, if we learn to communicate with our intimate partners, knowing what each other want, not being afraid to try new moves, being adventurous, using music, jokes, card games whatever turns you on. Learn to communicate with one another, if you are shy, use music or even dim the lights, make it as romantic as possible! The main purpose of sex is to build a strong bond and connection with one another, the goal is to have a good time, so communication is the key. You do not have to tell anyone else, not even your children about it! It is a special bond between you and your loved one, so make it mysterious, share your thoughts and build that deep connection with each other. It is one of the most sacred act between two human beings, a beautiful moment, so share that communication with one another.

Tips for Safe and Healthy Sex:

This is a checklist before you choose to engage in sexual activities, there are risks in ‘Sex’, so to keep healthy and happy here are some suggestions we at Rogowska Therapy would like to let you know:

1. Always have Protected Sex – Have Condoms ready for use and make sure it is clean it is important. Ladies if you want to prevent Child Birth, make sure you check with your doctor and understand the timing of your ‘Periods’, always take birth control pills before engagement with sex. We suggest condoms as the safest and healthiest as it does not involve any kind of medication. ‘Make’ sure it is not broken during penetration and always through the body fluids away once finished.

2. Shower before you have Sex – Hygiene is very important, a lot of diseases are transmitted from the hands, mouth and the skin. We recommend everyone to take a good bath or if you want to be romantic you can help each other wash and be clean before you engage in any kind of intimacy. This also includes the removal of unwanted body hair etc. Before you engage in sexual acts, no one wants to touch a ‘big bush of hair’ or any other dirty parts, so always clean yourself up before you engage in any kind of love. Hygiene is important.

3. Make sure you have a clean bed, mattress and the right music and correct atmosphere – This is also related to hygiene, dirty hotels and unwashed mattresses can also contract diseases, especially when you are naked, so make sure before you engage in any kind of activity make sure everything you touch is all clean. Also, having the right music and atmosphere is important, music helps to bring you into the mood and make sure your room is sound proof, you do not want to wake everyone up at night! Nobody wants to hear all your screaming and deep talks!

4. Lastly, make sure you keep your genitals clean, waxed and washed before you engage in any form of sexual contact. Especially, if you choose to engage in ‘Oral Sex’, nobody wants to meet a ‘toilet’ disease ridden place, when they are engaging in love, wash it with soap, pour aloe vera, if you have body hair trim it or as we suggest ‘get rid of’, everyone wants to have a good time, nobody wants to get hair in their mouths!

These are the 4 – Sexy Tips to have ‘Healthy Intimacy’ – Remember to always have protection, keep clean, be in the right environment and most of all we wish a happy and wonderful ‘Romantic Relationship’ between you and your loved one!

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