During our lifetime, we all go through breakups and heartaches. Whether the break up is ‘easy’ or ‘hard’ being honest about your ‘true feelings’ is the most important key to a successful relationship. I always try my best to try and understand people without judging them by assumption. In this dangerous world, we live in, many people are not looking for ‘true’ love, they just get by life by playing games and living a lie just for the sake of survival or for their own amusement at the expense of other people’s broken hearts.
This is why people who look for ‘true love’ and ‘a real soul mate relationship’ often ends up getting hurt when they do not know ‘what they truly’ want out of a relationship.
It is very important to know exactly what you want out of a relationship and what type of person you want in your life otherwise if we do not know what we want, we will end up attracting the ‘wrong’ kinds of people out of desperation for the ‘need to be loved’. Since wanting to be loved is a human need, that is why sometimes we often put our lives on the line for love and it can be disastrous if we give our hearts to the ‘wrong’ person. In life we cannot afford the time to attract the wrong people in our lives as they bring us pain, frustration and misery and it is dangerous when we do not know what we want, because we will attract all sorts of people; bad, good, weird, frustrated etc. They all come into our lives with all sorts of baggages dragging us down and making us unhappy. It is a pattern that we need to avoid by knowing what we ‘truly’ want in a relationship to save us from wasting our time with the wrong ones, so we can use this time to pursue our dreams and aspirations to live a better more meaningful life.
As human beings we all desire to be in a ‘relationship’ where we feel loved and appreciated. Someone ‘special’ just for us, a romance that is extraordinary where two people can sweep each other out of their feet. In a relationship all women want is to be appreciated for who they are and men want someone to support their dreams and their work and cause for this world. That is why romance novels are so popular, however as we go out in the ‘real world’, often this wonderful dream is shattered by the ‘reality’ we face.
Each person in this world has ‘a story’. We are all different, however we can attract better people into our lives, by improving ourselves. If we are struggling with bad habits ourselves, our insecurities will more than likely attract negative people who carry similar problems that we have. We cannot blame the bad people that we have attracted into our lives and the mess they make in our lives, because we were a mess in the first place and we are the ones that attracted them into our lives! As responsible adults, we need to take ‘full responsibility’ and control of who we let into our lives and the outcome of our experiences, firstly by becoming ‘better’, learning to become strong and self-reliant ourselves. We need to let go of the past ‘disappointments’ that we have experienced in our previous relationships to allow us the opportunity for ‘true love’ to come into our lives. Before we can find someone who loves us, we need to learn to be ‘independent’ and fully accept ourselves for who we are as a person. We need to love ourselves first, before we go out their and find ‘true love’, furthermore we must always love ourselves more than we love others as that is the person who we will be living with for the rest of our lives. We cannot receive love, if we do not ‘have love’ within, so working on ‘loving ourself’ should be a life long process.
Most of all, we need to be mature enough to take on the responsibility for what has happened to us. I truly believe in the timing of events in our lives, everything that happens in our life is about timing. When the timing is not right and you intuitively know that something is not going right for you, then this is most likely true. Through the tough experiences we encounter we learn to build ourselves, our strength, independence and become wiser spiritually.
I have experienced a lot of hard lessons in love’ throughout my life. Im thankful for these experiences as they have made me stronger and wiser as a person. These have been ‘valuable lessons’ for me and helped me to grow into the person that I am today, speaking to you all. I am a very sensitive and romantic girl, a ’Slavic’ soul with a heart that is pure and genuine. All my life I always wanted to be in a ‘honest and romantic relationship’. However throughout life my dreams have been crushed and shattered by the reality I have faced. I have recently faced the toughest heartbreak of my life. I would like to share this ‘valuable personal lesson’ to the world, so we can all learn from it.
My Life Story and Valuable Lesson:
I entered into my ‘serious relationship’ as a young innocent 17 year old girl and stayed with a man for six years being totally faithful to him giving him all my heart. Being so young, I did not know what I wanted out of life and was naive and did not know that this man was out there cheating on me. As a young romantic at heart, I even believed in his lies of planning a wedding and family together with me and I believed in him with all my heart and actually thought that my dreams of getting married … were finally coming true. However, all that he told me was a ‘BIG LIE’ and he left me all alone on my birthday, lying to me that he was sick and made up a story for me to visit him, I traveled all the way from Poland to North America to see him only to realise he was not there. I ended up crying alone on my birthday completely heartbroken and shattered. At such a young age, this man was rich and I thought he was genuine and could provide my family with the support we needed, so I loved him with all my heart only to realise he was a cheater and scammer. After this experience I am left devastated, angry, frustrated and vengeful … even to the point that I did not want to live any more. I was also angry at myself for believing in him and I sometimes feel that I am unworthy of love, having spent so long loving a person who did not ‘value’ me as a person. Cheating has really hurt me deeply in the heart, I thought I could not go on and ‘be loved again as a person’. My ideas of romance and love has been completely shattered, however after this extremely painful experience, I decided to go on the journey of self-improvement and psychology. Now through my colleague’s help, we have created a website, I am using my past experience to work on the ‘True Image’ Psychology project, Rogowska Therapy to help everyone around the world to understand life and live their dreams.