Lifestyle Personality

How to turn failure and set-backs into your strength

We as human beings are gifted with unlimited potential, we are each given a unique set of talents that we can use to achieve what you truly want in life.

However, it is our ‘psychological mindset that allows us to do what we want which give us the power to perform the tasks that we do daily and throughout our lives. The greatest cause of failure in people’s lives lies in how we deal with set-backs and failure. When we are born, we are generally not afraid of anything, however the environment that we live has told us to not follow our dreams, giving us specific tasks, roles to play and the World telling us what or who we should be, everything in life has a label, what profession you are in, what you look like, your ethnicity and where you come from, everything in this world is classified, whether you have money or not etc.

In this article, we are going to help you turn your set-backs and the disappointments into your strength. You can use the pain and all the negative feedback that you have received and turn it into power to achieve what you truly deserve. We only have one life to live and we deserve to perform our best, achieve our very best which will enable us to achieve what we are truly capable of.

Here are 5 important ways to turn ‘failure and setbacks’ into your strength:

1. Do not listen to what others, your family and your friends tell you ‘who’ you should be: Many times we try to become someone that we are not by following the advice of our loved ones and end up in a profession or job that we hate. This is very true, because family will want the best for you, so they try to get you into professions where it is a safe bet that you will be able to financially support yourself. This often leads to disaster as we as human beings are gifted with unique talents as Albert Einstein has said, “everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking that it is stupid.” Choose a profession or a career or a wife or spouse, that is suitable for you that makes you happy. For example, if you love painting, do not let your parents tell you that art will not make money, go and study accounting. You know you hate the idea of accounting and numbers and will do anything to put your paint brush to work, do not let other people dictate what you should do. Not everybody is suited for a career in engineering, doctor or lawyers, there are entertainers, entrepreneurs, artists professions which are generally considered as hard, but they have all succeeded. Follow your passion in life, this way, you will not be afraid of the set-backs and failure, because you love what you do. Elon Musk has said it perfectly, ’do something you love, because you will not regret putting all your energy into it’. Do something is meaningful for you, if you aspire to be a fashion model, go for it, if that is what you love. If you aspire to become an Mixed Martial Artist go do it, sometimes your loved ones are protective and they want the best, but it is up to you to make the ‘best choice’ for yourself, it is your life and only you can do what is best for you.

2. Failures and Setbacks are stepping stones when you are doing what you are passionate about: As discussed previously, you have to choose to do something that you love as Confucius has said, “Do something you love and you will not have to work a day in your life”. ? When you enjoy what you do, for example when you are playing basketball, you will miss plenty of shots in the process, but you will get better each and every time, if you examine and learn to see where you have gone wrong. The main cause of failure is not that we fail a lot and have a lot of set-backs, the main cause of failure is we are too lazy or stubborn and we ‘refuse to learn from our mistakes’ as Albert Einstein has pointed out “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results”. Learn from your failures and mistakes, carry on loving what you do. Even in love relationships, do not see an argument or a break-up as an execution! Learn from the dates you have, learn from romance, life is a continuous learning process and Mahatma Ghandi has said, “learn as you were to live forever”, see all the failure and set-backs as a learning process. Bruce Lee the Martial Arts Legend as said “I do not fear the man who has practiced a thousand kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick a thousand times”. Keep learning and developing your skills, everything is a learning process and you will see setbacks is actually a strength builder, the muscles when you are bodybuilding only grows through resistance and pain and learn to embrace that feeling. Whenever there is tension, their is growth. Even in romantic relationships and in love, if their is no strong attraction and tension, for example the man does not have to chase or do anything for the woman and the woman does not make the man work for it, what comes easy will always be forgotten. Good relationships are developed through the ups and downs and it is often the couples that have been through a lot together are the ones that last for a life-time. Adversity is actually a gift in disguise and it provides will with the vital lessons of life.

3. We can only grow when we put ourselves in danger and conquering our fear of failure – This philosophy is a thing that many people do not understand, human beings only grow when we fail and we are not supposed to have life easy if we truly want to make a ‘true meaning’ out of our lives. When things in life come so easily, we take things for granted. For example, arranged marriages, men who are born into a family of wealth such as second generation ‘billionaires’ or highly attractive women who can use any man they want for money are rarely happy and they often feel something is missing in their lives. Laziness makes us lose focus in our lives, we only feel alive when we are ‘challenged’ that is why we always want the things we cannot get once we achieve something, we move on and climb the next mountain. So setbacks and failure are the ‘driving force’ that motivates us to achieve more, like Nelson Mandela who conquered ‘Apartheid’ and established himself as the Father of South Africa has mentioned “do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I have fallen and got back up again”. Failure and setbacks are the greatest motivators to help us become more successful, this drives us to become our best and very often setbacks led you to something amazing in life, take Adele for example, if she was not dumped by the love of her life, it will not enable her to write the song “Rolling in the Deep”, the masterpiece and “Hello” which describes her pain of the being dumped, she is one of the youngest and most successful music artists in the world and one of the most wealthy. Her setbacks enabled her to realise her true potential and you can turn your set-backs into your strength and achieve what you truly deserve in life. This is the switch of psychology, failure is not final, unless if you allow it to be. Never quit until you succeed.?

4. Do not care too much about how others judge you, they are not in your shoes: Another important point we need to understand is that we should not care too much or if at all how other people judge us, it is there opinion. Many times we fail to pursue what we are truly interested in or take the risk of failure, because we are afraid of being laughed at or judged by other people. Most people will play it safe and live a life far less than they are capable of and see every set-back as something that will damage their image or reputation. Reputation is very important, but if you are so cautious, like J.K. Rowling has mentioned, the most successful author of all time, she wrote her “Harry Potter books”, while suffering from heartbreak and being a single mother, “do not fear failure and do not be afraid of living life. Do not live life so cautiously, that you mind as well fail by default”. Most people fail, because they do not show up, just showing up is already a success. If you want that woman of your dreams, stop hesitating and go for it, do not care what other people think. Ladies, if you have had a heartbreak from the wrong man or being used by men for sexual exploitations and for fun, do not spend your whole life trying to get back the man who does not love you and hate all men and use their psychology against them, love yourself, when you learn to love yourself and give love another chance, the right man will come and find you. Learning to not care what others think will free you from ‘the prison’ the society has locked you up in, if you want something you will find it. Either you want something and ‘fully concentrate your energy and go for it, otherwise you will find an excuse.”

5. Our last advice for your time is ‘limited’ and do not live with regrets: Life is very short and things quickly come and go, do not hold onto a grudge and concentrate your energy on pleasing people or dangle on your past failures. Let the negative thinking go, give up everything that drags you down. Learn to enjoy life, do not be too serious, relax and work towards what you are passionate about. Learn to laugh at setbacks and failure, life has its up and downs and it all depends on our attitude. Learn to develop a happy go lucky attitude at the end of the day which will happen eventually, you should look back on life and say, “I did everything I could, I enjoyed the experience and I am proud of what I have done.” This should be our motto for living.

Thank you everyone for reading, I wish everyone success, happiness and many blessings to the families and loved ones.

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